Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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