Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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