summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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