i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
