The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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