Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize