Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You may now shotgun with the bride
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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