i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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