But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
