i jhust puked up my retainher.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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