Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
