so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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