it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
