no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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