..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
