y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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