his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
