I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
