Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nicole vs. Life
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
