Do vagina's smell?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
