I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize