bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
