just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
