textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
