OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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