Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
