I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
