do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
