I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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