He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize