that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
