Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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