Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I love having hate sex.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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