Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
NoShamevember. You game?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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