New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
