I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
