maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm determined to sit on that face.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
