explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
