What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize