Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize