If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize