I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
