the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
