I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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