They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
