My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize