She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize