I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
