He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
