i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
