Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
