I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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