Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
