Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
how drunk are you?
Several
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
