i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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