whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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