I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
