It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
