Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
