I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
