Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
